To My Nephew – Inam-ul-Haq

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As your name implies, you are indeed a gift from God. We are all over the moon, overjoyed and extremely lucky to have you. I have never seen your Granddad so happy as he has been these past couple of days. If you are wondering the depth of his happiness, he alone gave you eight names, each one was sentimental and represented a story around the timing of your birth. I know right, I like to call him a philosopher.

As for your Grandma, she has told everyone that cares to listen about how you are her first grandchild and how she has been anticipating your arrival. Although, she did mention you eat a lot and you slurp on your drink. Just so you know, your Grandma does not like people slurping on their drinks nor chewing their food loudly so it is time to get your table manners in check. Also, never play with cotton wool around her, she will freak out, I cannot tell you why, it is just a rule we all know and have lived by so be cognisant.

Your pregnancy was definitely not an easy one but it brought your mom and I closer than we have ever been. You are indeed the answer to our prayers, I am confident that you are indeed a kind child and I could not be more grateful that you made me an Aunty but please call me "cookie"

I am not going to be your stereotypical Aunty, I will teach you a lot of things and you can be sure that I will not tell you off but rather debate topics with you and understand your perspective on things (your uncle can attest to this). You can count on me for adventures, the only caveat is, according to your Grandma, your mother has been very clingy and it is almost like we have to make an appointment to even get a chance at picking you up. Hopefully, we can figure something out soon.

I remember when I learnt that your mother was pregnant, I wanted you to be a girl as you will not be short of inspiration given you are surrounded by super women. Your mother is phenomenal, so is your aunty Tutu and myself. You are only eight days old and I already wonder the type of man you will grow up to be but one thing I can promise you is that, I will ensure that you are raised to be Feminist. You will soon discover that by virtue of being born male that your world has been curated to help you succeed in some ways and fail in others. My job is to ensure that you have the aspiration to do better when you encounter the privileges that your sex afford you.

My wish is that you grow to become a man who respect himself and everyone else, irrespective of their gender, ethnicity and sexuality. I want you to know that individual differences exist and it is not a threat to who you are but rather a learning opportunity. I will ensure that you are educated about the societal pressures that the female gender face so you learn how to listen and become our ally. Also, for you to know that people have the right to live freely as you and to  defend those who do not have the same privileges as you.

Most importantly, I will educate you about the importance of consent and how to avoid crowding someone's personal space like it is your birthright which you may be subjected to based on peer pressure. You must understand that anything but an energetic yes is a NO and understand that consent that has been granted can also be withdrawn. My wish is that you understand what real confidence is and not a false bravado or insecurities laced  with over-sexualization or toxic masculinity but a mastered sense of self.

All my love

Cookie.

 

 

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