In July, a dear friend invited me to a film festival. The theme was “IncluCity.” I didn’t think too much about it, I just wanted to enjoy an outdoor cinema again. We picked the international shorts program, which meant watching a series of 10-15 minute long films from around the world. You had to really pay attention, the stories weren’t loud, they whispered.
I hadn’t read much about it ahead of time. The first film touched on allyship. I turned to my friend like, “Wait, did you get that? It wasn’t until we watched the second film that the overall theme clicked for me: inclusivity.
When we hear that word, we often think of race, gender, or marginalised identities, and rightly so. But I want to challenge that definition a bit. What about inclusivity of values? Where is the space for those who lead with kindness, honesty, loyalty, and integrity in a world that often celebrates the opposite?
This idea hit hard during a short film titled “Pinocchio Reborn.” It's a twist on the classic Pinocchio tale, this version portrays an adult Pinocchio who clings to his values in a world that mocks and exploits him. His purity becomes a burden. Eventually, he ends up in therapy questioning if It's still worth being good?
I found the film dark and haunting, not just sad, but true. I turned to my friend and said, “You know, this is actually so sad… because it’s true.”
The film made me realize just how lonely it can feel when you’re trying to hold onto your values in a world that rewards the opposite, performance over principles, charm over character. It’s a softer kind of exclusion, but it’s real and we don’t talk about it enough.
We don’t often speak about value-based loneliness, but it’s real. As someone who tries to live by values like honesty, sincerity, and kindness and Integrity amongst people that have personalities built on ego, performance, and manipulation, it can feel isolating. Of course, I’ve been in situations where being kind made me feel taken for granted. But the thing is, betraying your own values feels worse than any of that.
The only things that truly protect me now are my self awareness and the boundaries that I’ve learned to hold with care. These days, I don’t just lead with my values, I check in with myself and ask, ‘Does this decision dishonour my growth?’ If the answer is yes, even my values take a back seat. That’s not a contradiction, it’s evolution.
Kindness is often mistaken for weakness. Honesty for naivety. But good values need spaces and communities that nurture them. Otherwise, trying to stay good in a world that isn’t built for it can quietly break you. That’s why I’m very mindful about who gets access to me. I speak up when I truly feel it matters, and I’ve learned that having a small circle is not a flaw, it’s a filter.
Recently, I said no to something I could’ve helped with, not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t trust the intention behind it. That decision hurt more than saying yes. But I’ve come to understand that loyalty isn’t personal, it’s a measure of character.
I remember an old friend once described me to someone, saying: “We may not be on the best terms, but I’d never speak ill of her.” That stuck with me. I’ve always been the kind of person who keeps commitments, even when relationships or friendships fade. It's why i make them sparingly. I can die on the hill that I’ve never had to put a knife in anyone’s back to get ahead and I never will.
These are rare values, and I protect them fiercely. These days, when I get to know people and feel how jacked up some folks are, I guard my peace and what’s left of my innocence. I no longer hold space for ignorance or people who lack self-awareness. I know how rare my values are, and I won’t risk any dent on them.
So if people think I’m "too much", That’s fine. That perception has become a shield, it keeps away unnecessary acquaintances who might otherwise try to exploit the very values I hold dear. This isn’t a post for self-adulation. It’s a reminder that inclusivity shouldn’t be viewed as binary. My values are reserved for the people closest to my heart, those who live with the same kind of intentional awareness.I guess what I’m trying to say is: inclusivity isn’t just about identity, it’s also about creating space for people who live by values that aren’t always “on trend.”
