I didn't have plans of blogging until my next travel but I have been struggling to organize my thoughts lately which means it's time for proper journaling. Also, I think the trigger for this post was a podcast I stumbled across earlier in the week about how people are being treated unfairly. Even the knowledgeable host was struggling to categorize this behaviour.
While I think mental health problems should not be handled slightly and recognize that many people suffer from this ailment, it's becoming obvious that a lot of people that blame their inadequacies, lack of empathy, sheer wickedness and selfishness on mental health issues are not actually suffering from it. Think about it, if you are truly suffering from this ailment and you know how excruciating the pain associated with mental illness is, why would you wish it on another? I have now concluded that people that justify their lack of empathy for other humans by throwing phrases like "I'm suffering from depression, mental health issues, traumatic disorders" are just blatantly selfish and narcissistic individuals. Although, some people will argue that narcissism itself is a disorder, the only caveat here is people that have this trait know, In fact they see it as a thing of pride and would never seek help.
When I evaluate occurrences based on life experiences, I try to rationalize it and take myself out of the equation. Hence the following scenarios:
Scenario 1
For this analogy, I will be using Alice and Sally.
Alice and Sally are work colleagues, they once met up for dinner and drinks, Alice got too comfortable and told Sally that she does suffer from mental health problems but then her family is the trigger and she's trying her best to stay sane. Sally felt really sorry for her and has been watching out for her ever since(not in an embarrassing way). She just tries to be there for her as needed.
One day, they both had a meeting with a client given they were working on the same project but Alices performance on the call was average. Sally called her afterwards to ask if she was okay just before she provided feedback about the call. Then, Alice mentioned that she was having her mental crises again, Sally immediately said let's plan a trip given it's something to look forward to while giving her some advice on what she could do in the interim. To keep Alices mind off her alleged issues, Sally told her to find a place for them to visit and had her plan the entire trip. Alice seemed really excited about the mini project, booked the itineraries, hotel and flights while Sally just reimbursed her. This was about four months in advance of the trip.
When it was three weeks to the trip, Alice came up with a story saying she might not be able to make the trip given her leg hurts. Sally being the optimistic person told her, it's still three weeks to the trip and any leg problem should disappear in no time and suggested they wait until it's a week to the vacation to see if the problem persists. Sally even said she's happy to wheel her around if that is what it takes. Sally already knew it was some bullshit story. Lo and behold, a week to the vacation, Alice started acting strange and avoiding Sally, so Sally reached to her to see how she was feeling, she said she could not make it given the leg problem.
Sally then went on the vacation alone and as the universe would have it, it turned out excellent. Sally then met Alice at a work event and she started the leg story again, immediately Sally shut her up and said "you are insulting my intelligence with your lies". She then admitted that she was going through a "depressed phase" that was triggered by her friend and that's why she couldn't go and had to make up an excuse. Sally concluded by saying "I'm glad you did what was best for you".
Verdict
The lie is the most disgusting thing here, if Alice had been transparent and said she was depressed and didn't want to go, Sally would have supported her decision. The problem here is Alice was selfish and lacked empathy for Sally. What if Sally could not travel solo? Did she think that if Sally decided to stay back she would have lost money? Why did she have to lie about it and organize a pity party? When confronted, why did she have to blame it on other people instead of taking full responsibility?
Scenario 2
In this analogy, we have Sally and Bob.
Sally has been speaking to someone called Bob. Sally does not like him very much so she was upfront about her likes and dislikes so Bob can rethink his decision. However, Bob concurred to every thing Sally said and mentioned it's mutual and they were on the same page about the expectations. Sally knew it was just a game to get her comfortable and she decided to play along. One thing Sally could not stand about Bob was how he spoke negatively of his own family, he would say he had traumas from his childhood and his parents didn't care for him as they should have etc.
For every negative story, positive Sally had a worse story and told Bob that if his parents knew better they would have done better, it's all in the past and he can choose to move on. However, the straw that broke the camels back was when Sally and Bob met for dinner one night and he told Sally that the girls at the bar were prostitutes. To his surprise, Sally wouldn't let go of the topic and told him not to ever refer to women as prostitutes in an attempt to derogate them in her presence and she continued to debate her stance.
This was such a bruise to Bob's ego and Bob later tried to upset Sally by trying to pick a fight, to his surprise Sally raised no eyebrow, concurred to everything he said and ended things amicably.
Verdict
Have you ever experienced people like Bob that only have negative things to say? Apparently, everyone has wronged them and they feel the world owes them, they speak ill of their exes and women. Not sure if this is a part of a grand plan to make Sally feel superior to other women but it was completely unnecessary. You have people that behave badly, blame it on their childhood and walk around trying to hurt other people. These wilfully broken people don't seek help either.
Scenario 3
Again, this is another Bob and Sally analogy.
Sally was briefly seeing Bob the chronic liar who would self sabotage any type of situation so he could assume control. Sally later caught him out on his lies and demanded accountability for his actions, his response to the seven counts of gross misconduct raised was "I'm mentally fucked". This was how "Bob the mentally fucked" left things.
Verdict
"Bob the mentally fucked" like to hang out with the best women but doesn't have a pot to piss in. He even goes to the extent of raising hands in churches saying he's seeking a partner when we all know he is looking to dehumanize another female. He's dishonest and lead people on, it's almost like a drug and Sally is convinced that this is a game weak and toxic men play to boost their fragile masculinity.
There are a lot of scenarios that I have personally come across. The most ridiculous thing is these allegedly mentally challenged and entitled set of people are not seeking help nor going for therapy. I understand that therapy is not cheap but when was the last time you read a book that could improve your mental health. There are several podcasts targeted at mental health, when was the last time you listened to one? The only thing thing these narcissistic folks do is blame their dreadful behaviour on someone else, they are never responsible for anything, they lack self awareness and they are not willing to learn.
Ideally, I would say please seek therapy, if that's too expensive, there are so many free contents online including podcasts to improve your mental health. However, we all know that you lots are just narcissistic and on a mission to break people so you can recruit them to your spectrum. Hence, realistically, I hope you find your crowd that have been on the spectrum long enough to teach you a lesson.
As for we happy people, we understand that it takes courage to be alive and we will continue to put our best foot forward. We enjoy looking at the world in our coloured lenses and with naivety. We are self aware and constantly making the most life has to offer, we build meaningful relationship regardless of any encounter we have had with any narcissistic individual in the past. Personally, I have started becoming more aware of these traits and I avoid these people in a speed of light. Unfortunately, they are like ants and you find them everywhere. I don't suffer from mental health issues but I read a lot of self development books to ensure I'm self aware and not impacting any human negatively. I shall not be a rehabilitation centre to a blatant narcissist.
Love and light xx
