2022 was a defining year for me. I let it and it showed off. Usually, I start writing my goals from December of the previous year, in this case, I wrote those goals in December 2021, very colourful and lively. It encompassed and articulated goals relating to every areas of my life. I had financial, career, family and development goals. However, coming into fruition of some of these goals depended on other parties, I was not going to execute them solely. Thinking about it now, I had no idea what I was thinking, I was just hoping that the odds were going to be in my favour.
Thankfully, the universe took me out of my imagination as quickly as possible. I remembered we had not celebrated the Chinese New Year before I started reassessing my plans for 2022. I went back to the drawing board, edited those goals and kept them within my circle of influence. Even at that, It was not as perfect as I wanted so I settled for monthly goals, hoping that at some point I would have it figured out. In hindsight, that moment defined the entire year for me.
At the beginning of the year, I did a BCG analysis of my life. The BCG matrix is a business model used in positioning business products strategically for long term success. In BCG, you have the star, question mark, cash cow and dog.
The only matrix I was interested in making time for was the "cash cow" and the "star". The "cash cow" in my case would be something in my life that is already working and the "star" would be something that required some effort but has the capability of growing and making meaningful improvements to my life. The "dog" and the "question mark" were definitely not getting any attention from me. The "dog" surprised me a lot as doing this analysis made me realise the situations/relationships I have been forcing with no potential of serving me in the long term.
Wellbeing
2022, I consciously practiced gratefulness, I communicated and connected with people differently, saying thank you was no longer enough, I let people know how I genuinely felt. I experienced love like never before, not just within my mini curated relationship spaces but everywhere, I let people look out for me and I did receive an abundance of love. I'm the healthiest I've ever been and my mind is devoid of any worries whatsoever. I genuinely feel at peace with life.
Relationships
2022, this fell under "star" in my BCG matrix, I worked on my relationship with the people that mattered to me, I celebrated them in ways I wouldn't have and made them understand what their relationship meant to me. My lovely friend got married in February and I couldn't be more proud that I was there to walk her down the aisle. I was there for my ageing mother and saw her through surgery, my lovely aunty turned 40 and I was present, my amazing sister had the most beautiful baby and made me an Aunty in the process. I spent more time with my dad which gave me the opportunity to learn what's most important to him and I have continued to be an intentional sister to my brother. Writing all these down feels surreal and I'm thankful.
Then, I watched "From scratch" on Netflix. Oh I have never cried so much. This movie embodied all the different kinds of love that one could experience, the love from your significant other, your family, your offspring, your community etc. Amy and Lino had the perfect love, they loved one another equally, the fundamentals of their love was solid, despite the hardship and challenges of the relationship, the bedrock of their love kept them together. This movie articulated how I have always viewed relationships, Amy proposing to Lino was perfect and when they adopted their girl, oh my, she had the love I don't think her birth parent were capable of giving her. "From Scratch" demystifies the notion that you cannot love a child that isn't biologically yours as you would the one that's yours. Then, their family and their community were equally supportive.
So beautifully written and I'm so happy Thembie shared this story with the world. I'm surprised I never did a full review of that movie. Well, I bought the book so I can read it and feel any emotions I couldn't feel while watching it. I find the story therapeutic!
Travel
There are not a lot of pleasures in life, nothing lights the fire in me like experiencing different cultures and seeing the world through another's lenses. The first travel of the year was not planned which made it more memorable and special. I ticked off my bucket list and adventures which I had reserved for my significant other and I. My thought process sucked, imagine putting adventures on hold in a life full of uncertainties? Never again! The only travel "L" I had was not going to Doha to watch the world cup and Paris to put my french to test given I had booked both trips together but everything happens for a reason. Other than that, I made sure there weren't any limitations on my travels and I had so many phenomenal travel experiences.
Personal Development and Adventure
This year, I practiced solitude, at some point I could hear my own thoughts. It was a self discovery journey on its own and I'm so glad I embarked on it, I became more self aware. Life now has another meaning! For a very long time, I have always mistaken niceness for kindness, I have wondered why certain people tend to react to situations nicely compared to me. My communication style is direct and gives no room to interpretations. I would choose to associate with people just because I perceived them as nice/kind, then when I got to know them, I figured they weren't decent human beings. I realised that those people were not particularly kind, they just lacked boundaries which is disguised in niceness. I know now that I am sufficient and overall a phenomenal human.
My french classes are beginning to pay off, I read and write well now but I don't speak as good as I should according to my professor. Apparently, being cautious has something to do with it, the most carefree people will speak faster than someone like me. It's just funny because half the time I know what I want to say in my head, I just get nervous which then means I need more time. I'm rectifying that in 2023. I remember the first time I had a dream in french, I was so over the moon, if you spoke multiple languages and we have met, I must have asked you if you dream in those languages, experiencing that was beautiful and I loved that for me.
I learnt how to dive, I have wanted to do this since 2018 but given scuba diving has a buddy system, I thought it would be beneficial to learn it with someone significant and use it as a bonding activity. My partner then would never try it so we stuck to snorkelling. Given I was going to be riding solo this year, I signed up for classes and luckily my instructor (whom I wish I could dive with all the time) was super patient with me. I would be the first to admit we both have some unspoken bond that we share underwater. Scuba Diving has a lot to do with eye contacts and signalling, it's the only way one communicate underwater so that could be the reason. Diving gives me a zen I normally don't get in my day to day life, it's different and I hope I can articulate it better someday. I'm looking forward to more of that in 2023.
Feminism
2022 was the year I actually saw a lot of women choose themselves. I know someone with four kids that has been contemplating on leaving her abusive marriage but couldn't because of fear. She gathered the courage and left that situation this year and she got all the support from other women, family and friends. She's now back at school improving on herself and has an entire village to help raise the kids. I could not be more proud!
Then, I saw Isha Sesay announcing that she is planning to have a baby by herself. That was another great news, the silly excuses women often make for keeping their emotionless and deadbeat partner is because they want to have kids. Think about it, if someone is not worthy of fulfilling your own emotional needs, what makes that person a good candidate to father your offspring. You're just being a party to raising another set of broken children. Anyway, I'm so proud of Isha and I know she's going to be an exceptional parent!
There were loads of other stories around women choosing themselves, even at work two of my male bosses lost their marriages due to their gross domestic incompetences, while I empathised with them openly, in my mind, I'm happy their wives saw the light.
As for the women still trying to figure it out, I hope you find the courage, everything you want is at the other side of fear. And, as for the disappointments aka men, I hope you see this as an opportunity to do better.
2022 was a surprising year for me, the universe showed off and I could not be more thankful.
More of love, light and happiness in 2023 and Happy Chinese New Year! It's the year of the Rabbit which symbolizes mercy, elegance, and beauty.
