This year felt like a rollercoaster, long and jam-packed, yet somehow it flew by. I spent a lot of time firefighting and didn’t really pause to celebrate the wins, the "Ta Da!" moments. Sure, you could say I took a mini sabbatical and traveled, but even that wasn’t as intentional as I’d hoped. I was juggling job transitions, planning a move, and desperately trying to catch my breath. I still laugh (or cringe) thinking about negotiating contracts while wandering through Colombia, switching between sightseeing and hammering out T&Cs.
When I first thought about taking a sabbatical, the plan was to use that downtime for something personal, maybe write a book or dive into something new. But instead, I ended up stacking life changes all at once. It was like testing how autonomous I could really be. And while things turned out fine, I didn’t leave much room to just breathe.
That said, I did lean into my purpose this year. I prioritized what truly mattered. Maybe it’s the magic of turning 35, but I took some big risks, huge, even. It felt like a full 360 shift. I wanted more autonomy in my life, and I made moves toward it. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I made the leap, and that counts.
On the flip side, this year taught me some tough lessons about relationships. I learned where I stand in people’s lives and how to stay in that lane. There were losses, not the life-and-death kind, but relationship shifts that hit hard. I tried to show up for people going through rough times, but sometimes they didn’t want or need my help. I made peace with that, realizing it wasn’t personal. It was about what was best for them, even if it didn’t make sense to me. I think this whole experience deepened my ability to see people through a lens of generosity and that’s a gift in itself.
Personal growth and wellness
Even though my theme for this year was "finding balance," I probably should’ve called it "risk"because I took it in every aspect of my life. Career, relationships, travel… you name it.
For the first six months, I was all in on fitness. Gym every single day, no excuses. Tuesdays and Fridays were for swimming (to fix my posture), and Saturdays? Pilates for mindfulness. Honestly, I’m way better at Pilates than meditating, my brain just doesn’t know how to chill. But during that stretch, I felt like an absolute rockstar.
Then life happened. The second half of the year got hectic—travel, work, family… the full juggling act. My saving grace? I eat clean, so at least that part stayed solid. Still, I wish I had kept the same energy all year.
On the bright side, I leveled up in my language course! Sure, my focus dipped (for obvious reasons), but I made up for it by spending extra time in France, so I guess that’s a win.
One thing I really leaned into this year was solitude. I amped it up like never before. Aside from hanging out with my mom in February, I spent a lot of time tuned into me and honestly, I think it paid off.
Family
I began the year by spending some quality time with my dear mother. Our relationship has always been amicable, though we often hold differing views. This has never posed much of a problem since we typically don't spend extended periods together. However, having her stay for a month felt like a significant stretch, and I must admit, I was a little apprehensive when planning the trip. To my surprise, it turned out to be an incredibly rewarding experience. We bonded in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I asked her questions about her life, my childhood, and even her regrets. We spoke as friends, and for the first time, I saw her in a completely different light.
Of course, we had our occasional disagreements, particularly around my OCD tendencies and her opinions on marriage. But I learned to laugh it off, choosing instead to focus on the positive moments. Most evenings, we sat with a bottle of wine, indulging in family gossip and reliving fond memories. It was, without a doubt, one of the highlights of my year. She felt like my best friend, and I remain deeply grateful for the opportunity to connect with her on such a meaningful level.
Later in the year, I found myself feeling guilty about not visiting my grandparents for over four years. While I hadn't planned it initially, I managed to arrange a trip to Abeokuta in October to spend a week with them. The visit was eye-opening. My grandfather's eyesight had deteriorated significantly, and it took him a moment to recognize me. That realization broke my heart. When I gently asked if he could see me clearly, he admitted that while he could make out my features, the finer details were blurred.
My grandmother's memory, on the other hand, required a bit of jogging. I had to reintroduce myself to her, which was humbling. Yet, through storytelling, songs, and shared experiences, we reconnected. I found immense comfort in those moments, and I remain profoundly grateful for the chance to rekindle our bond.
Another highlight of the year was meeting my beautiful nephew. His resemblance to me was uncanny, so much so that people often mistook him for my son. It made perfect sense, given that my sister and I were frequently mistaken for twins as children. Our mother, always eager for attention, would dress us in matching outfits and revel in recounting the story of our striking resemblance.
During my visit, I taught him a few songs my sister used to sing as a child. Now, whenever we FaceTime, he gleefully shouts, "Cookie, I miss you!" Those moments are priceless and fill me with immense joy.
The rest of that trip was spent volunteering for various causes, reconnecting with old friends, and, of course, goofing around in my usual fashion. These experiences alone made the year that of meaningful connections, cherished memories, and personal growth.
Relationships
This year, I took my role as a friend more seriously than ever. I made a conscious effort to schedule regular check-ins with my friends – though I’ll admit, I only made two new ones! Over the years, we've all shown that we value these relationships by setting aside time to meet up, catch up, and navigate life together. As someone who naturally leans toward solitude, this felt like a significant effort for me. However, as I grow older, I’m beginning to truly understand the importance of friendship.
In the past, I often distanced myself, partly to avoid unnecessary drama and partly because I found myself losing friends to marriage and shifting priorities. A notable experience this year was surprising an old friend during one of my travels. She had been expressing how hard it was to make new friends, so I occasionally sent her flowers to remind her that I was still present in her life. When I decided to visit, I quickly realized that much of her energy had shifted toward her partner’s interests. After returning home, I gracefully stepped back and wished the couple well, something I’ve learned to do naturally over time. This experience reinforced what people often say: friendships evolve as we do. In hindsight, I’m grateful for the lesson. While we remain on good terms, I’ve chosen not to overextend myself in that relationship.
On the brighter side, the friendships I cherish now are with women who are grounded, self-assured, and know how to enjoy life. Our time together feels effortless, never like I’m overcompensating. We support each other’s growth, leveraging our individual strengths and expertise to navigate life.
Additionally, this year brought the joy of meeting many inspiring, positive women during my travels. It’s been refreshing and uplifting to connect with like-minded individuals. When it comes to friendship, I can confidently say I’m in a good place.
Travel
At this stage, I feel like I've fine-tuned my holiday calendar. However, a few unplanned trips surfaced throughout the year, catching me by surprise. Despite the spontaneity, I remain firm in my love for solo travel. I truly believe that travel, while enriching, can put friendships to the test, and I’m not in the mood to jeopardize any relationships right now.
Interestingly, I’ve found that meeting strangers along the way often leads to the most memorable experiences. There’s something captivating about relying on chance encounters to shape the adventure. Perhaps my toxic trait is depending on total strangers to make my trips unforgettable.
This year, I spent more time between my different homes, enjoying the best of each environment. My sabbatical played a significant role in allowing me to embrace this balance.
I’m proud to say I hit most of my travel goals for the year, though Japan didn’t make the cut. With how packed the year was, squeezing it in felt impossible.
Looking ahead, I’m eager to return to a more structured approach, taking intentional pauses and planning my trips with the same care, rigour and excitement I once did.
What 2025 Looks Like
While I don’t plan to reinvent the wheel in 2025, my primary focus this year is on cultivating autonomy in my life, whatever form that may take. After reflecting on my journey, I feel this aligns with my higher self and the direction I want to move toward.
One challenge I’m setting for myself is dedicating Sundays as a “no screens” day, where I avoid all digital devices. This day will be reserved for nurturing my mental wellbeing: reading physical books, practicing mindfulness, and enjoying my Pilates routine. If I can stick to this, I’ll be incredibly proud of myself.
Additionally, I’m committing to taking regular pauses and incorporating monthly self-reflection sessions to assess my goals, adjust timelines, and celebrate progress. It’s something I need to be more intentional about, and I’m learning to offer myself more grace along the way.
Looking forward to the future, and wishing you all a fantastic 2025.
