
“Self Love” this phrase is used around every time, yet a lot of us don’t know what it actually means. Self love means showing oneself love and kindness. It is not the same as looking for someone to show you love or seeking validation from another human.
I do think if you are at a point in your life where you don’t love your self enough or totally then you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship or friendship. This will normally lead to codependency because you will always need the other person to validate you. A good relationship is symbiotic and it would be unfair if one person shoulders the responsibility of making you happy when you are not happy with who you are at the time.
If you don’t have love for yourself, you can’t possibly give love. It is quite logical, you simply can’t give what you don’t have.
Self love is knowing yourself, embracing your flaws and choosing happiness always. If you love yourself enough you will have love to give and any relationship you decide to build will thrive. This is because you have taken the time to find yourself, know what makes you happy and gotten rid of negativity.


Here are my tips for loving yourself unapologetically and unlocking another level of happiness
Put yourself first
Stop bowing to peer pressure. Always put yourself first. It may come across as being selfish but sometimes the people you are trying to please don’t care and if the situation were to change they wouldn’t blink an eye before declining your request. It could be as simple as invitation to a party, if you don’t feel like going respond with a polite NO. Stop going to a gatherings you have no business in because you are trying to please other people. You are not selfish, you are just prioritising your happiness and protecting your peace.
Forgive
A particular saying that resonates with me is “resentment is like taking poison and hoping another person will die“. If you hold a grudge against someone, now is the time to forgive them because you will feel better for it. Resentment harbours negativity, which does nothing good for the soul.
Also, you may need to forgive yourself for something you did in the past. This is often harder, reflect on your mistakes, forgive yourself and seek counselling if you need to.
Be positive
Positive thoughts and affirmations do great wonders. Your day can simply turn around from having positive thoughts. Train your mind to discard any negative thoughts or feelings. If you continue to do this, you will soon find a Zen of peace. When you get to this point, you will always be happy and confront every situation with positivity. A book I have recommended to friends is “the monk that sold his ferrari”.



Exercise and Eat well
This may sound cliche but it is the truth. It could be a walk in the park or an intense gym session, trust me you will feel good for it, it is a little way of investing in your mental health. Feed your body with only food that are of benefit to your body. Eating well is a form of self love, don’t feed your body junk food. Eat your vegetables, drink water and avoid processed food as much as you can.
Let go of toxic people
We all have one or two people in our lives that are constantly negative. As a result, their negativity rubs off on us. For example, have you ever been in a good mood and someone calls you to start telling you how terrible their day is going, they keep talking about how it’s going to get worse, after the discussion you stopped being happy. I am sure this sounds familiar, the truth is you may not be having a great day yourself but you are keeping a positive energy, but as a result of that phone-call you start feeling down.
That’s the bad energy I’m referring to. You don’t need it, if you have these people in your life avoid speaking to them. Send them a text, if they have negative news you can always send them positive affirmations. Sooner or later, they will know you’re not the doormat for bad energy.
Stop comparing yourself with other people
I would have to admit this is a hard one but it is very easy if you’ve unlocked the level of self love. It’s bad enough that the society does that for you, stop doing it to yourself. Comparison they say is a thief of joy. You will never be proud of your achievements if you keep comparing yourself to other people. The hard truth is someone is always going to outdo you.
The only person you should be comparing yourself to is YOU. Set realistic goals, achieve them, celebrate your victory. You are running your own race.


Stop putting limitations on your feelings
There’s no need to hold those tears back, crying is therapeutic. Let your emotions process properly. Laugh out loud and cry if you need to. I used to be upset about a lot of things that I never allow my emotions to process it, It will later build up and affect me badly. The day I learnt to cry was the day I became free. These days if something doesn’t go as planned and it hurts my feeling, I lock myself up and have a good cry. After a couple of minutes I pick my self up, go back to the drawing board, revisit my mistakes and attempt it again. I am happier and better for it.
Embrace your imperfections
We are human and we all are flawed, that’s the beauty of it. Same thing you think of as imperfect is what makes you different. Stop thinking of it as a flaw and start embracing it. Be confident, if you are curvy start wearing clothes that suit your body shape and stop walking around with low self esteem. Beauty is by whose standards anyway? people will always treat you the way you come across. Whatever insecurities you have, start loving it, you’ll see that people will soon start complimenting you for it. For example, vitiligo or freckles wasn’t considered beautiful years ago, but now people are getting huge modelling contracts based on that. The moral of this lesson is Be you and the world will adjust!
AMAZING! INSPIRING!
I would love to travel the world someday, reading your blog reminds me that its not impossible.
Cant wait for a new upload.
Author
Thank you for your kind words. Yes its absolutely possible with proper planning:)